Broken

Broken. Not whole. Cast aside. Unfit. Unworthy. Worthless.

We evaluate others on a scale of wholeness, measuring them up to a standard that we draw arbitrarily, hoping that if someone might glance our way we would measure up. But we don’t. The issue is not the fact that we are at a carnival and are too short for the roller coaster or exceed the weight limit to a ride or are too late to receive the special discount. The problem is not that our gas gauge is flickering on “E” or the computer is flashing low battery. No, this is not a problem that can be fixed or waited out or changed. The issue is much more intrinsic than that.

The issue is that I am broken. Parts are missing and I don’t know how long it’s been that way. Parts have been stolen from me a long time ago and replaced with a bootleg this world and society finds acceptable for a brief moment but then sees the newest model and once again, I’m trash. Because I am unfit. There is no standard or measure that anyone holds where I can meet the requirements. But the best part is…I don’t give a damn. I’M BROKEN! I’M A PIECE OF SHIT!
And so are you. You say I am deluded and don’t know what I’m talking about. O, but I do. You have on a fresh coat of paint but underneath you have just as many missing pieces and dysfunctional parts. Sorry for ruining you “secret.” O the irony…

I look at my standards and realize: I don’t even fit them. It is only what I aspire to be. And for what?! So that I will be lumped in the same category as a bunch of other people with chipping paint and rusting parts.

So we are all a bunch of used toys that are given to the newest baby in the family because we have no value anymore. Something happened along the years that made us unwanted. A knee blew out, a heart was torn, a back was stabbed.

But the fact that we were created at all (whether by a local toy shop in Germany or a factory in China) escapes us. The toymaker sees us for who we are, and frankly, thinks the bootleg version of us is a little weird but cute on us. So why do we keep lining up under other people’s standards and continue to get our hopes dashed? Why not stand apart from them until they notice the similarities? Or stand beside the rejected ones? O that’s right. I forgot. It’s cause you think they’re broken. Here’s your measuring line. My bad.